WonderWall

When there's absoutely nothing happening, nothing at all, every single small non-issue becomes an issue and non-event becomes an event.Or at least every single thnig about your pathetic life becomes whine-worthy. And then it suddenly becomes possbile to fill page after page of the old forgotten diary, or type away without restraint into the evolved version of today aka the blog.And then all of a sudden it seems that with the bat of an eye lid, so many things are happening and they just keep happening. Major events even, and ponder-worthy issues.And ur struggling to keep up..Yet, this is when your mind refuses to focus and your fingers dont seem to budge upon the keyboard, except for perhaps to engage in idle chat.i guess at some point u tend to give up and just let it go on, watch your life pass u by as they would say. Its been a while since i even entered this page,my own space or so its meant to be. I had decided when i started blogging - ok, joined the blogging world which by then comprised of half the world, that i would only write when i was inspired to. ok well, inspired to, or pushed to the limit, such that that thoughts and feelings overflowed,beyond the silent boundaries of the mind into the www. - ah, but i had the veil of anonymity - (there is no such thing by the way). there comes a point when you have to accept responsibility for everything you say and do even if you dont do it under ur own name, literally speaking. Coz we ll have our own identity, and that far surpasses afterall a name.again, im dodging the question (alert readers would now wonder, what IS the question??do not worry, coz im wondering the same thing and i get a strange feeling there isnt one) well maybe there is, but it might come through this jumble of words which seem so meaningless even to me but i'm doing what i haven't done in a long time, im just letting my mind and my fingers coordinate, hopefully with minimal restrain and self-censorship. (So now when i make sense, you'll know how much editing would have gone into it) :)
I'm waffling. I think its a childhood tendency which my mom 1st identified and called it 'longwinded'...and later it was properly named by my lit teacher in jc when she put it down in red ink on my essay. (consolation : can anyone tell me how NOT to waffle when your writing about DH lawrence's 'women in love'!?!) That chap waffled his way through the entire novel and we study it for let, and i just get marked down!As i type all this, i realise i really like the sound of waffle...waffles...its got a jingle to it, and it sounds so happy...(i happen to know a dr called that by the way, and coupled with a sirname, woo, its not just alliteration, its plain sad). I truly believe in onomatopoeia. If i had a previous life, if at all, i'm convinced i would have been a waffle. how many ppl have the honour of being both noun and verb.

Out of nowhere, the random forces came together and i now have a dog scurrying about. The dog, 'previously known as remo' is now undergoing an emergency and intensive name-change.So intensive that we're overwhelmed by options and still undecided and refer to it as the dog. but we're doing this out of sheer good will and consideration for the dog, coz we were starting to give it a serious identity crisis by calling it various names..no wonder it ignored us and stopped responding to anything. (aside : trying to name ur dog after watching 'Beethoven'? some dogs aren't musically inclined). Ok so now its here, im not sure if its here to stay, im still quite unaffected by its presence wihch is easy to miss coz it's a very quiet creature and is very contented curling up in shady corners. So no complaints from me in that department.

Apart from this ..er...development, ive also come to the end of 'THE experiments'!!!I thought i would never see the day. no seriously, i knew the day would come, but i just dind;t think i'd live to see it!Embarking on a series of other short-term assignments, attemtps at consoling oneself that one is not jobless or unemployed but that one is a free lance ' something important sounding'.For the 1st time last night, i thought of mm.. thought of him alive coz that's how i think id always want to remember him..not in the physical mortal sense, he was just an extremely alive person..it felt strange thinking about him coz till now, ive refused to let myself go there. come to think of it, its only now, as i counted with my fingers, that its hit me..its been 10 mnths,wow that's fast. just like its been 9 yrs since ga died..days into months into yrs - when ppl say its a matter of time, i guess we can take it damn literally.Speaking of which i better be off..am on a pro- punctuality policy, something i can and should work on (hmm..why do i sense general agreement here)...vibes..wow...i could start an entire post on this, but i'll leave that to another time.Looking frward to a day well spent, for myself and all.

Cheers & carpe diem, till the next time my mind and hands decide to coordinate. quite a rare phenomenon these days.