Bittersweet Symphony
It hit me today, that we're down to the last week at uni...Yogajunkie asked if I had ordered my gown…I felt an odd mix of feelings for a fleeting moment, and then it was gone..but the bittersweet aftertaste – that stayed.Tomorrow’s officially the very last day of sch - of my academic life so far...I mean there will be a few weeks of exams, but sch per se, this is it.I feel like this is some kinda watershed...feels significant.Let me take a moment....wow…
I dont have an institution called school to go to anymore..I'm not going to be able to whine and moan and groan and make out like i'm the only studying & suffering individual in the planet and that all the cosmic forces are out to make me miserable. (i assure u it does feel that way sometimes!)
Typing out the biblio earlier, I cldnt help but keep thinking how its probably the last biblio I was gonna be typing (even tho it wasn’t exactly MINE) in a long time…and certainly not in the all too familiar settings of as 7.
I've actually become quite attached to the institution now... just being there is comforting sometimes - and im not as surprised as i was, the 1st time i felt this way.The faces u see around..the handful who've been there for about as long as u have, and some even longer…even the drink shop uncle is started make me feel sad…the acquaintances who eventually became friends I can’t bear to leave...the familiar faces in Elang class whom I’ve really missed the past sem..i bumped into some of them today and thought, this will be the last time I’m going to be seeing them around randomly along those corridors, where LIP used to be held..
So many memories everywhere..forum – all our sleepovers and all night study sessions of course incomplete without our past midnight rendezvous for cheese prata…
Can’t meet Shanu yoga and ms evil any old time…knowing they’re bound to be around somewhere, arts canteen probably, library,forum,as7 lab, SOC etc..
Ive actually gotten over missing the milo van already.
I;m feeling lost already… how much weirder is it going to be when I wake up to empty days and not have sch to go to.. all those lessons I missed/was late for, now I wish I didn’t take it all for granted. But who would have thought all those times ago that this day would come.
Who would have thought, even last sem that I wouldn’t be celebrating this end, which I had so looked forward to and prayed for every single day last semester.
And now, I just don’t want it all to end.
I was feeling alright till i started writing...i was just looking forward to tomorrow.. but now its pretty overwhelming..
I didn’t mean to write about all this... I wasn’t intending to even articulate it to/within myself, but I guess ive let it out…now I just have to let (it) go.
Suddenly, I wish I could make tomorrow last for another year.
I dont have an institution called school to go to anymore..I'm not going to be able to whine and moan and groan and make out like i'm the only studying & suffering individual in the planet and that all the cosmic forces are out to make me miserable. (i assure u it does feel that way sometimes!)
Typing out the biblio earlier, I cldnt help but keep thinking how its probably the last biblio I was gonna be typing (even tho it wasn’t exactly MINE) in a long time…and certainly not in the all too familiar settings of as 7.
I've actually become quite attached to the institution now... just being there is comforting sometimes - and im not as surprised as i was, the 1st time i felt this way.The faces u see around..the handful who've been there for about as long as u have, and some even longer…even the drink shop uncle is started make me feel sad…the acquaintances who eventually became friends I can’t bear to leave...the familiar faces in Elang class whom I’ve really missed the past sem..i bumped into some of them today and thought, this will be the last time I’m going to be seeing them around randomly along those corridors, where LIP used to be held..
So many memories everywhere..forum – all our sleepovers and all night study sessions of course incomplete without our past midnight rendezvous for cheese prata…
Can’t meet Shanu yoga and ms evil any old time…knowing they’re bound to be around somewhere, arts canteen probably, library,forum,as7 lab, SOC etc..
Ive actually gotten over missing the milo van already.
I;m feeling lost already… how much weirder is it going to be when I wake up to empty days and not have sch to go to.. all those lessons I missed/was late for, now I wish I didn’t take it all for granted. But who would have thought all those times ago that this day would come.
Who would have thought, even last sem that I wouldn’t be celebrating this end, which I had so looked forward to and prayed for every single day last semester.
And now, I just don’t want it all to end.
I was feeling alright till i started writing...i was just looking forward to tomorrow.. but now its pretty overwhelming..
I didn’t mean to write about all this... I wasn’t intending to even articulate it to/within myself, but I guess ive let it out…now I just have to let (it) go.
Suddenly, I wish I could make tomorrow last for another year.
posted by Kumari | 2:19 AM
3 Comments:
it can be difficult, i'm sure...this whole 'i'm leaving, we're leaving' thing. but in all reality you're taking something away from your university life: your memories. and thats something no one can ever take away from you. And memories cant be cherished unless you leave something behind and carry on. I'm sure you've had some precious moments in university and wouldnt you agree that the feeling of flipping through that album of life on a delightful, sun draped afternoon, resting your fingers on the images of your tertiary life, is something wonderfully fulfilling?
I know exactly what yu mean... I'm having problems coming to terms with it myself. But we'll be ok. we'll land on our feet and we'll be ok. and caleb's right, we do have our memories, our friends, and the photographs!
had a great time with you, and ms evil (that's a much nicer nick- hehe!). Thanks for everything, and I dun just mean for today.
yozz.. havent talked to u in ages. You and babs are graduating and I'm not gonna be there! :(
I know it's difficult, but it's now the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Who knows what the its pages are gonna be filled with? Just enjoy the transition stage and for a while at least, go with the flow.. till you have to start swimming against the currents again..
Love ya!
Agent M
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