Before the rain
Caution : This one's gonna be depressed and depressing..DO NOT CONTINUE if you're not feeling ecstatic at this point...on 2nd thoughts,maybe not even then.
Ok u have been warned.
I hope this is just a passing cloud..a grey one at that...been so busy trying to block things out of my mind..and not let stuff get to me too much.....everything's moving so fast..days and weeks merging into one another..i hate it when boundaries start blurring..time and time again we forget the things that matter...sometimes its being there for others..sometimes it's being there for ourselves...sometimes its just the confidence that others are there for us..then why does it feel like nothing is ever enough...shld it all really matter this much? I;m busy..tired and stressed and anxious and worried..but i can get used to these...(infact come to think of it, they're a blessing at this point..keeps the emotions away...its comforting being on mechanized mode..coz u feel kinda numb...and u can get used to it)
the emptiness is taking a while tho..maybe i'll never get used to it..hopefully i will.
weird how u can feel soo weighed down and burdened and empty at the same time huh...one of life's many contradictions...
maybe we are better off as islands..isolated...and self sufficient so we dont get too emotionally reliant on anyone..and there are no expectations...and that way, we wld just be there for ourselves and that would be enough..
idealism again....oh well old habits die hard they say..
guess that's why its so difficult...but i do beleive in paradigm shifts...it'll come, its just a matter of time.
Oh gosh this is so not the way i wnat to start this week..there's jst so much to be done i can't afford to be in this mode/mood or whatever this is..i hope i'll wake up tomorrow and feel light (ok fine this is asking for too much)...anything but the way i feel now.
It's funny how sometimes...what u feel u need most rite now...is exactly what you don't have.
Or is that
what you don't have, is exactly what u feel u need most rite now.
Don;t know if there's a difference...probably not.
And did i say it was funny....
hah.
Oh well tomorrow's a brand new day...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things i cannot change
The courage to change the things i can
and the wisdom
to know the differnce.
- serenity prayer, one of my all time favourites.
Ok u have been warned.
I hope this is just a passing cloud..a grey one at that...been so busy trying to block things out of my mind..and not let stuff get to me too much.....everything's moving so fast..days and weeks merging into one another..i hate it when boundaries start blurring..time and time again we forget the things that matter...sometimes its being there for others..sometimes it's being there for ourselves...sometimes its just the confidence that others are there for us..then why does it feel like nothing is ever enough...shld it all really matter this much? I;m busy..tired and stressed and anxious and worried..but i can get used to these...(infact come to think of it, they're a blessing at this point..keeps the emotions away...its comforting being on mechanized mode..coz u feel kinda numb...and u can get used to it)
the emptiness is taking a while tho..maybe i'll never get used to it..hopefully i will.
weird how u can feel soo weighed down and burdened and empty at the same time huh...one of life's many contradictions...
maybe we are better off as islands..isolated...and self sufficient so we dont get too emotionally reliant on anyone..and there are no expectations...and that way, we wld just be there for ourselves and that would be enough..
idealism again....oh well old habits die hard they say..
guess that's why its so difficult...but i do beleive in paradigm shifts...it'll come, its just a matter of time.
Oh gosh this is so not the way i wnat to start this week..there's jst so much to be done i can't afford to be in this mode/mood or whatever this is..i hope i'll wake up tomorrow and feel light (ok fine this is asking for too much)...anything but the way i feel now.
It's funny how sometimes...what u feel u need most rite now...is exactly what you don't have.
Or is that
what you don't have, is exactly what u feel u need most rite now.
Don;t know if there's a difference...probably not.
And did i say it was funny....
hah.
Oh well tomorrow's a brand new day...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things i cannot change
The courage to change the things i can
and the wisdom
to know the differnce.
- serenity prayer, one of my all time favourites.
posted by Kumari | 12:54 AM
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